On Waiting.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Waiting is one of the hardest phases of life. I don't like it. By far, this is the longest wait for me and I'm still in the midst of it. And during this season, I realized quite a few things about waiting. 

1. Waiting shows my priorities. I realized this during one of my vacations and asked myself where do I devote most of my free time -- mostly on myself's happiness. I realized I usually want to be distracted and be entertained to escape momentarily the agony of waiting. I was still doing the things I should do but I realized that I could have used the time not to play games but to be more engaged in my relationship with God and other people. 

In Psalm 27, David is in quite a mess. In verses 2,3,11,and 12,it can be seen that he is in trouble. But in the psalm, it reveals what David is prioritizing -- God. Psalm 27:4 says it beautifully: 

One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

If he was to prioritize one thing in his life, it was to seek God.

2. Waiting is just a different honing process. Most people tell me, "Maybe God is just changing something in you". I guess people usually say it because it's an easy thing to say. I believe there's truth that in the season of waiting, it is still a process of change and it is quite a test to see where we are at in life. But, there's a danger in this statement. Because I believe that God can change us in any season in our life. One can be mislead that one doesn't need to change things because he's "doing alright" in life. At some point, all of us need change, right? 

3. Waiting requires faith. Waiting can be really discouraging. Facts can make you a statistician. Age, Salary, Economy, Position and many more can just smack you right in the head and make you hopeless. Past failures can even haunt you for maybe those failures put you in that waiting place you are now. Feelings are even worse. Feelings can jump any day especially in the waiting game. One day you are super encouraged, the next day melancholy hits you bad. 

I really like what verse 13 said in Psalm 27 (NKJV). I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. David would have lost heart, his will, if he hadn't believed that he would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. And he believed because he knew who God is. Verse 1 says:

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear? 

The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

What I like about verse 13 is that it is a reminder that the goodness of the LORD can be seen while we are living. Of course, God's goodness will be ultimately realized in Christ's return, but today we can see it -- salvation made possible by Jesus' death and resurrection. 

Last note to self:

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Right Place, Right Time?

I'm in a room full of girl's stuffed toys.

Currently, I'm crashing a friend's place and I'm in his children's playroom. This is the funniest place I've slept in. 

I've kind of got used to living away from home and living in other people's houses. In the past year, I've stayed in four different houses. Some of strangers, some of friends I met along the way. 

Now a question that seems to be in my mind is: Am I at the right place at the right time? 

It seems to me that the past year is a year of missing things out -- of being at the right place at the wrong time. I missed a lot of opportunities. I've been in awkward and hard conditions. And things that I expected, didn't happen. I guess to sum things up, I failed. Of course it's not defeat or total annihilation, it's just a phase where I lost a battle, though, it is a very costly one. I guess, failure is a phase that is hard to admit and accept. Some people encourage me by saying that I didn't fail, but it's just a challenge where I am being molded. But in a realistic sense -- I did fail. it's fine. There's a time for everything -- even for failure. And recognizing it, I believe, would help to recuperate,be stronger, and try again. 

It is just a phase. No right or wrongs; at this place, at this time.